This year I’d love to trust the Lord more, looking to Him for protection, guidance, provision and wisdom. This morning I realized how far away I still am in trusting God.
Out of the blue, our outside alarm went off. My husband was in his study, the grandchildren, who live next door in the main house, had just left for school. Suddenly I was afraid. I pictured somebody sneaking into the property as the automatic gate was closing and now roaming the garden. I locked the door. I had been about to go out and spend time with the Lord in the gazebo in our garden. Now I hesitated.
Then I heard my husband’s phone. The security company had picked up the alarm activation. Normally they would only phone him if my daughter hadn’t answered her phone. She is the first contact. Perhaps she was driving. I heard my husband say, “False alarm. Everything’s OK.” How did he know? Had he checked?
It’s not as if I had forgotten about the Lord. It’s almost as if I could hear Him say, “What! Don’t you trust me to protect you?” I have no idea why I reacted like I did. I am not normally that fearful. My heart raced and I had this queer feeling in my stomach. All I know is, despite what I profess to believe, I was not trusting the Lord. I was leaning on my own understanding, and especially my own imagination.
Of course, my husband was right. It was a false alarm. He had realized that because the clangor had only been sounding for about thirty seconds, somebody must have switched it off.
The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)
Lord, I am sorry I am so fearful. I know it is a sign of not trusting You completely, of doubting Your love for me. Please forgive me. Amen.