Facing Failure

We are leaving for New Zealand in a week. Part of my preparation has been to think about which clothes to take and whether anything needs replacing. I bought a green jacket at the beginning of winter which was very convenient when we went camping as it has pockets and a hood and is shower-proof. It has never looked smart, however. It just didn’t hang right. I decided to look at it carefully and see why. It seemed that the lining had shrunk or was never the right size for the outer shell. Surely if I separated the lining from the shell and just neatened it off, it would improve the hang? Maybe I used the wrong material to edge off the lining but, suffice it to say, I gave away the jacket and bought another one.

On Tuesday afternoon my daughter came to show me how my granddaughter’s ballet character skirt had become too loose for her. She needed it fixed for her ballet exam. Safety pins in the waistband would not cut it. She asked if I could fix it by Thursday, which was the last practice. It seemed a simple job – unpick the elasticised waist band and put in new elastic. Easy! I even found a suitable piece of elastic in my sewing box.

Image adapted from Image by Fiona from Pixabay

After twenty five minutes of trying to unpick black thread from black fabric and making only 1cm progress on one of three rows of stitching on the elasticised band, I came up with another plan – cut off the waist band and make another one. It was after 9.30pm before I could get hold of my daughter to OK the plan (especially as the fabric I had was not a perfect match colourwise.)

The Bible says, “The heart of man plans his way; but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16: 9)

My plan started well but by Wednesday night, once I had finished sewing the three rows to keep the elastic from twisting, the stretch no longer seemed enough. Maybe it was old elastic I had found.

Suddenly, on my worktable, was not only the new band I had made, but also another one which was much stretchier. I couldn’t understand it. The one I had cut off the skirt was in the dustbin, and yet here was just exactly what I needed. And the material was a perfect match. I had prayed about this project that the Lord would help me make a success of it. Surely this was His provision! We were looking after the grandchildren on Wednesday night so it was easy to get my granddaughter to try on the new waistband. It was quite a bit too tight but if I attached a piece from the one in the dustbin it could work.

It was in attaching the skirt to the waistband that the wheels really came off. You know it’s time for bed when you have sewed the entire waistband and a big chunk of fabric hangs down, un-incorporated.

By Thursday morning I was a soggy mess of stress. I had managed to unpick a lot of the stitching but not all. I couldn’t stop crying. My husband tried to cheer me up by saying that we could buy a new skirt if necessary. That didn’t help because it would be another failure. I had undertaken to do something and I had failed.

I knew the Lord had brought this upon me for a purpose. The extra waistband had apparently been from when my older granddaughter had had a similar issue with her character skirt just before an exam, only hers had been too tight and I had cut it off and made another one. Only I had forgotten. And exactly how it had landed on my work table I still don’t know. God’s handiwork was obvious. Surely He isn’t trying to tell me that there is a time to give up!

After a lot of thought, I think He wants me to learn to cope with failure. Looking back on my life, I have not failed often. Perhaps I have become too proud and independent. I have prided myself on being able to deliver on my promises, on being capable.

I had so wanted to be Super Granny!

My Prayer

Lord, I am not quite sure what You are doing with me at the moment and I don’t like it. Forgive me for relying on my own gifts and talents rather than on You. If You are teaching me something, may I learn quickly so I may be at peace. Amen.

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