Tag Archives: journalling

Wishes

I’ve bought a new day bed to put in my study. It has been in the back of my mind for some years to be able to provide a bed for at least one visitor and the plan would be to use it as a sort of couch when it is not needed as a bed. This required some re-organisation of my study and the need to get rid of some clutter.

When my husband asked whether I ever read my old journals, I told him, not really. Perhaps I might look back to earlier entries for the current years, but I don’t really go back. I decided that it was time to get rid of them. Dump them. After all, the rule for decluttering is, ‘if you haven’t used it in a year, you probably won’t.’

So I got out the box and started sorting. I found I couldn’t get rid of them. There is so much of me and God in them. I started to cry. It was like deciding to throw out old love letters. Not only are the books themselves pretty, sometimes I have drawn pictures and coloured them, one year I got given a journal which included verses to colour. I couldn’t do it.

I got to reading a very old journal. The resource I had been using as my guide presumably asked me to write down my wishes. I was shocked to read two of my wishes. One was to write a best-selling book or TV show and one was that my son would play cricket for South Africa. He was in primary school at the time. How worldly I was! Fame seemed to have been my main ambition.

Our sermon this morning was based on Mark 10 from verse 35. James and John said to Jesus, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.”

“And he said to them, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ And they said to him, “Grant us to sit, one at your right hand, and one at your left, in your glory.”

They were looking for worldly glory.

Not much later, blind Bartimaeus called out to Jesus. Jesus stopped. He deviated from His path to Jerusalem for a blind beggar.

And Jesus said to him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?” (verse 51 ESV)

Same question, different answer. Bartimaeus wanted to see. He wanted to move from darkness to light. It makes the answer of James and John look pathetic.

I believe Jesus asks us the same question. “What do you want me to do for you?” When we answer, I believe He asks us another question. “Are you really serious about this?”

My Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, sometimes I don’t even know what I want. Through Your Holy Spirit please search my heart that I might know the desires of my heart. Please refine those desires to be in tune with the beat of Your heart.

Put it in Writing

JusJoJan 25 January

I am somewhat socially inept. I don’t pick up the unspoken cues that other people notice, or perhaps I was never actively taught the art of conversation and what is and is not appropriate. (My Mother did teach me never to ask anybody how much money they earn though.)

My timing is out and whenever I ask a question at the dinner table, the person is stuck with a mouthful of food. I try to be caring and show an interest in other people’s concerns but somehow I don’t get it right. Appropriate words fail me just when I gather up enough courage to open my mouth. If I’m having a deep conversation about something that affects me emotionally, I normally cry which interferes with the message I’m trying to convey.

I have on occasion resorted to writing letters. Somehow the written word seems more weighty than the spoken. People can always deny having said something, but once you’ve written it, there is no turning back.

In my dealings with God I rely heavily on the written word. I’m so glad that nowadays we have the Bible in print form (and the electronic equivalent) and it’s not just word of mouth traditions handed down from generation to generation.

I keep a journal. In it I write verses that impact me and thoughts about what I am reading or studying at the moment. I find writing things down helps keep my mind from wandering. When I write my prayers I feel like I am serious about them. That doesn’t stop me from whispering SMS prayers during the day, however. It just feels more like a basic contract that I can build on. Another advantage of a journal is that I can keep a record of specific prayers for specific people so that when they are answered, I can note it and my faith grows because I might not otherwise even remember that I had prayed.

To cater for journal-writing-people like me, they now manufacture beautiful journals with appropriate scripture verses or beautiful scenes. That just makes it seem more special but there is actually nothing wrong with a plain school book. In fact, my earlier journals are just that, perhaps with the page of an old calendar or something pretty to cover them.

This is my journal for 2022

Not everybody is helped by journaling their journey with God but it works for me.

My Prayer

Thank You, Father God for the Bible. You have committed Your promises to writing and I can stand on them. Please help me in my everyday communication with people. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, Amen.